SUMMER FESTIVALS!!!

Oooh, I love the freedom that unemployment brings. The lack of income is becoming quite a problem, but...oh...the freedom. Although I toned down my original plan to attend festivals non-stop for the whole summer of 2010, I did end up doing pretty well.

Glastonbury

(A.K.A. The greatest festival in the universe)

I decided to use said freedom for good and volunteered to work for Shelter at Glastonbury. Shelter was providing volunteers to work at many of the bars dotted over the thousand acres of Worthy Farm, so I had no idea where I'd be assigned and what type of festival experience lay before me.

Recycling bins

We were to be there Tuesday-Monday, and only needed to work three 8-hour shifts in exchange for our tickets. We also had a secure staff campsite equipped with a subsidised bar and canteen, a chillout area with beanbags and lots of phone-recharger plugs, and most importantly of all, plenty of showers. Showers! As this must have been one of the hottest and sunniest festivals in its history, those (practically) queue-free showers were an absolute godsend.

Peak hour at the Pimm's Bus

As it turned out, I was assigned to work the Pimm's Bus. Brilliant! Not only did I get to wear a pretty red Pimm's shirt, I got to work shorter hours as our clientele tended to disappear with the sun's last rays. This meant I was free to explore the madness that is the Glastonbury Festival.

And this is the part that is difficult to explain. Glastonbury is like no other festival on earth. It's crazy. It's enormous. Various reports cite Glastonbury as either the second or third-largest city in south west England during the last weekend in June. The statistics are impressive: it's home to 3,225 toilets and 60 stages. Set over 900 acres of land, it's over a mile and a half from one side to the other. With 170,000 other people milling about the same pathways, it can easily take an hour to get from one side to the other. And that's not allowing for being distracted by the myriad of interesting diversions you'd find along the way.

Everyone always asks, "So, who did you see play at Glastonbury?" And anyone who's been to a few festivals, anyone who 'gets' Glastonbury, always comes back with the same answer: "It doesn't matter who you see. Glastonbury is an experience." I know people who don't see a single popular act, who go nowhere near the Pyramid or Other stages the whole time. And they maintain that their experience is every bit as awesome as those who manage to catch half a dozen or more of the world's hottest acts for the price of one of the expensive seats at the O2 Arena.

I'm not sure whether I believe that - going THE WHOLE festival without watching any music? I was a bit of both this year. The first couple of days I was there, the main bands weren't on (they start on the Friday) so I had a lot of time to wander the collection of villages that make up the festival: visiting the Green Crafts field, exploring Block 9 and The Unfair Ground while they were finishing their build, sitting in the Stone Circle and watching the sun go down. Once the big bands started, I tried to see as many acts as I could. I worked day shifts on Friday and Sunday, and a night shift on Saturday, so I missed out on a couple of bands I would have like to catch but it was no big deal.

The final list went something like this: the end of Snoop Dogg, most of The Flaming Lips, the opening of that poor excuse for a set delivered by The Gorillaz, Florence and The Machine, Dizzee Rascal, The Wurzels, a smidgeon of The Scissor Sisters and Ray Davies (from the Kinks) on a break from work, The Pet Shop Boys, a bit of Gomez, and Stevie Wonder.

In addition to that, I saw loads of unknown acts perform in smaller venues. The Fluffy Rock Cafe was a favourite and the Front Room in Croissant Neuf was brilliant. My mate and I also ended up popping into a salsa bar, dancing at 1am to a playlist of cheesy 90s classics, dipping into the madness of Block 9 with a visit to the Dog-Faced Geishas, getting harassed by a very creepy guy dressed as Heath Ledger's Joker as we tried to throw a ball through the gaping jaw of what looked like corpses on a daisy wheel, and having a million other amazing experiences that make Glastonbury the enormous bag of Awesome that it is.

I have an entire album of photo memories, but I'll leave you with the ones below as a taster.

I warned you that it would be difficult to explain. Just get yourself there next year. I insist.

T in the Park, Kinross, Scotland

One week back in London then I was off to Scotland to spend four days at T in the Park. My sister had organised everything, including earlybird camping tickets, only to realise about a week before the festival that she couldn't get time off work. What?? The lineup looked amazing, so I decided to head up there alone and check it out.

I caught a bus to Glasgow (9 hours, 15 minutes and no toilet stops, in case you were wondering) stayed a night there to recover, then dragged myself to what must be one of the world's longest bus queues to catch a lift to Balado Airfield in Kinross where the festival is held. Standing in the queue, I noticed for the first time what everyone I've spoken to since then seems to have already known about T in the Park.

Everyone who goes there is really young.

Let me explain for emphasis: when I say young, I mean proper young. I mean teenagers, with the (very) occasional mid-twenties festival goer. And when I say everyone, I mean everyone. I queued for 2 hours at Glasgow Buchanan waiting for a bus, and was part of a crowd of at least a couple of hundred people. In all that time I saw a grand total of two people who looked anywhere near my age. Sh*t.

I was actually dreading going to this festival. It wasn't even the fact that I was going to a campground festival alone - which was a bit adventurous, even for me - but rather that it had been too soon since my last festival experience. Everyone knows that it takes at least a week to recover from Glastonbury, and I had cut that recovery time short to replace it with a massive bus journey, a two-hour queue, and a muddy field full of teenagers. The thought of living under a little piece of canvas again so soon, and being reliant on portaloos, was almost too much to bear.

Still, the show must go on.  And in the end, it looked as though The Universe was pleased that I'd made the effort and decided to give me a helping hand.

I dragged myself and my camping gear to an open spot that was close enough to the...er...'facilities' for it to be convenient for late night toilet needs, but not close enough to smell them. I'd pitched my tent in a clearing, gone for a wee wander around the campsite, picked up some beer, and was back in the tent flicking through the programme when I heard a couple of Scottish accents setting up their tent right beside me. I wasn't even really listening, but some of the words that floated over my way were too hilarious to ignore. I can't really remember the details, but one snippet went like this:

Voice 1: "Put that in the little flappy thing. Use the yellow one."
Voice 2: "I don't see a yellow one."
Voice 1: "Well you need to use the yellow one."
Voice 2: "I'm telling you, there IS no yellow one."
.. 5 seconds later ..
Voice 2: "Oh, here's the yellow one."

I ended up laughing out loud, so stuck my head out to say hello to the owners of those accents and thank them for the laughs. Lo and behold, the Scottish accents belonged to two rather attractive Scottish lads who were older than the festival's average age of 19 years. Nice. Even better than the fact that I was now camped beside two hot guys, was the fact that they were both really nice hot guys. I didn't know that was even possible.

Rodrigo y Gabriel

Just as I was thinking all my christmases had come at once, they told me they had another mate joining them - he had discovered at the gate that he'd left his ticket at home so had to drive back home to find it. Luckily he lived somewhat closer than London. When he eventually arrived, it turned out that he too was hot/nice. Thanks, Universe!

You'll have to trust me on their hotness, but as evidence of their niceness - when the guys found out I was there on my own, they promptly adopted me for the weekend and I became an honorary member of their crew. Consequently, my weekend turned out to be all kinds of awesome. We saw great bands (Temper Trap), awful bands (Airbourne) and separate bands - I went to see the Black Eyed Peas while they went somewhere else that could not POSSIBLY have been as cool as the Peas set. All in all it was a fantastic four days and I made some great new friends.

I was so glad that I took the fearless option of travelling the length of the British Isles alone to a festival where I didn't know a soul. God bless Scotland.

Edinburgh Festival Fringe, Scotland

More Scotland time! Hooray! This time I'd had three weeks back in London, so I was well and truly ready for another festival experience. Still this was a bit of a last-minute decision, and it was only thanks to a generous offer of accommodation by my friends in Glasgow that I decided to go ahead.   I caught a bus up, again marvelling at how surprisingly non-awful the 9 hour ride (no toilet stops, remember?) actually was, arriving Thursday evening and spending time with a mate I hadn't seen in a while. Well, technically I'd gone out to dinner with him during my last trip 3 weeks earlier, but that doesn't count.

Like most normal people, J was working on Friday so I made the short trip into Edinburgh myself and started absorbing the festy vibe until he could join me later. I love Edinburgh at Fringe time. Every building with four walls and a roof becomes a venue and hosts performers ranging from the sublime to the ridiculous. This year I spent most of my time watching comedy shows. Free ones, paid ones, good ones, bad ones, and one that included a man singing about a monkey.

I had a brilliant time, and even managed to spend some time visiting one of the new friends I had met at T in the Park a few weeks earlier. R lived in a small village north of Edinburgh, so I spent some time with him and crashed at his house before dragging him in to the festival madness the next day. I love the Fringe.

As always, my time in Scotland was too brief. Five days flew past and it was time to head back to London, and back to the reality of a job search. Yuck.

Still, I live in hope that somehow I'll manage to continue to have awesome adventures. Just between you and me, I think that's a pretty safe assumption. Stay tuned!